I was on a walk today and got contemplative:
"God, am I doing what I should be right now? What more or what different should I be doing? Convict me, God!"
Whoa. Emotional."Why all the 'convicting'? You're 'convicting' yourself all the time! Just let me love you."
Those are words I could imagine Rebekah or I saying to each other. When I feel them coming from the God of the universe, when I picture / feel / embrace that kind of love poured on me from deity, it's emotional.
I feel like such a fraud Christian some/most of the time. I have a wimpy view of the Bible and exclusive/absolute truth. Wimpy, or perhaps "nuanced", but either way, I'm generally a self-contradicting pile of orthodoxy, heresy, and error all lumped together. That's how I mostly feel, except when I go all self-righteous for a spell before "crashing" back to paltriness. It seems like the way I "compensate" is by subconsciously thinking, "well, I'll at least get the Neighbor-Love stuff down pretty good," and becoming a guilt-and-ambition-powered workaholic.My love is what saves the universe.My love makes you precious, valuable, safe.So let me love you awhile.
But guess what -- I am loved.
And disclaimer: I'm not claiming that I absolutely heard those words from God. I'm just strongly not ruling it out, and in the interest of being alive -- of living the life I have to live -- of living the only experience I have to experience -- I'm embracing it. It's something God "would" say to me... i.e. something I already believe firmly in -- we are loved by God and this love defines us more truly than anything else -- so to embrace what I "heard" this morning as truth from God makes sense even without "knowing" it was really God's spirit's voice.
In other words,
Just let me love you awhile.
~God
Wow. Sure sounds like something the come alongside, comforter, Holy Spirit would say to you. I was chewing on similar perspectives myself this morning, about recognizing the foolishness of building little kingdoms when contrasted with a romance with the King.
ReplyDeleteLove it. And you. =)
ReplyDeletewooooooow. SO cool brudder. also, i like the picture.
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